The Ice Queen's Decree

02:42 pm - What's Up Ya'll?

Let's see, I'M MOVING! It's going to be a lot closer to Stephen's house. YAY! My parents got their divorice FINALLY! Now we get child support! Much needed $! I'm super happy! (CONFETTI FLIES!) And I fixed my webcam. Good news hour or what here? I get to have a yard sale this weekend! GREATNESS!!!!! Oh this week is awesome. Mom also made my Bryn-Alan appointment. I have to go June 1, 4:30 PM. Not too cool but hey. June is going to be extra busy for me!

June 1, 2004 -> Senior Pictures
June 5, 2004 -> SAT's
June 7, 2004 -> 5 Months w/ Stephen
June 13, 2004 -> Stephen's 17th Birthday
June 15, 2004 -> Moving

The rest of the summer is going to be full of Stephen Time and shopping and brainstorming. I'm going to do a lot of planning for the 2004-2005 HELM. Next year it's not going to look like crap. Stephen's busy with Java. He's got a mistress. HA HA HA. I'm sleepy. I want to take a nap but I'm busy. And Tommy finally came back on the computer. I've missed him. But all is well now. I made tacos for lunch today and they were good. I also got to help Ms. Beverly pack up her room today. That was funny. Well, that's about it. BYE!

Current Mood: tired

06:55 pm - Guess Who It Is?

SURPRISE! It's me. (Hey it could be a surprise!) Well, my dad is going to pay for my SAT's and he said that he will come to my award night at school. This i8s a big deal because he normally doesn't see me. He always calls and hangs out with Kenny. We just don't share the same likes, I suppose. I kinda miss him. However, I don't miss the alcohol. Anyway, I still LOVE STEPHEN and he gave me the sweetest picture of his adorable litle self the other day.


CUTE HUH? Write more later. Bye!

BTW: Maura, thanks a million for the songs!

Current Mood: contemplative

06:08 pm - Another Day, Another Without a Dollar . . .

Well, Stephen went to Georgia last night. And Kenny went to his school dance (he looked very handsome in black and blue). I was home bored as always. Mom and Dave ordered pizza. It was okay. I really wanted Chinese food. I surfed the internet for a while, got super bored and went to bed at about 9:00 PM. That's early for me. I attempted to sleep late but I was interrupted by my mother as she stole my blanket and then later when she had to move my lamp and a third time when she wanted to shut off my alarm clock. I just wanted to sleep in! I finally got out of bed at 8:00 AM because the phone was ringing off the hook. My dad took Kenny to work and I was again home alone. Mom asked if I wanted to go with her and Dave to the park to which I was practically begged to accompany. So I was rushed through a shower and shoved out the door. I was hungry and got to eat lunch after we went to Dave's and they got bathed and dressed. We got to go to Chile's, which Mom believes is my favorite restaurant. The food was ok. Then, Mom had to study her EKG stuff and so we went to Hillsborough State Park. It was hot, so I found a shady spot on a trail and read some old American poetry and prose. Mom took a nap in the sun and Dave wandered on the trails. We finally left there and headed home. On the way, Mom decided to purchase a plant for her mom. So we stopped on the side of the road at the Farmer's Market and bought a big Jasmine plant. It smells really good. Tomorrow we have to go to some big Mother's day/ Family Reunion thing at my aunt's house. Anyway, when I got home, Stephen called me but his phone kept losing its signal. I guess he just gave up because he hasn't called back. Mom said that she's going to take me to the mall but that's doubtable. She's sleeping or something. So, here I am. GOD AM I BORED!!!!!

Current Mood: restless

07:33 pm - Oh You Guys . . .

You're gonna seriously get sick of hearing me say this but . . . I LOVE STEPHEN!!! <3 He's one of the most amazingly mature, intelligent, humorous, caring, loving and strong individuals I have ever had the pleasure to meet. And he has graced me with his love everyday for the past four months. I know that it doesn't sound that long but, as many of you know, Stephen and I have been pretty close for over a year now. Of course we do have our moments of pure anger and hurt feelings but they go as fast as they come. He can make me feel like the most incredible creature that graces this world when I feel like I could just crawl into a corner, die and never be missed. OK now that I have sickened you with my mushy LOVE crap, on to the rest of my life . . .

I took that AP test and I truly believe I failed. I was really upset afterwards. My mom tried to make me feel better by reminding me that she's stupid and although it was a nice try it didn't make me feel better. I actually started to pity her. Then I cleaned my room with the help of the stupendous Stevie. He laughed a lot as I careful instructed him on how to correctly hang the clothes on the hangers and in which direction to face them and then how they were to be arranged in each color-coded section. The look on his face was priceless! I'm weird and that's ok! He kept trying to reassure me that I did indeed pass my AP exam but I sincerly have my doubts. I felt terrible walking into Ms. Beverly's room and having to inform her that I didn't do too well. (<3 GOD I LOVE STEPHEN! <3) Momma made me LASAGNA! YUMMY! It was really good. She even made me cuban bread with butter. THAT'S GREATNESS I TELL YOU!

That is all I have to say for now. I plan on redo-ing my color scheme and pictures. So check-in later to see if I make any progress!

Current Mood: touched

06:55 pm - I Have a Headache . . .

Hey ya'll. I'm sorry I've been down lately. My arm was tired. I've gotten a new paintbrush and plan to get back on my feet. Sorry if I've bothered you with my human faults. Thanks for listening . . . reading . . . whatever . . . :)

Current Mood: depressed

06:54 pm - It's Funny 'Cause It's True . . .

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
it's there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. You're afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
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Current Mood: blah

06:12 pm - This Is Not A Happy Entry . . .

Have you ever felt like the world would be better off if you weren't around? I wish I could crawl into the corner and cry myself to death. Everybody is having fun while I'm drowning in their filth! Why am I being punished? I haven't done anything wrong! I take care of my suicidal mother, look after my alcoholic father, raise my rebellious teenage brother, clean house, make dinner, have a 3.7 GPA, keep Stephen as happy as I can, make sure I take care of what friends I have by listening to them and trying to help them and try to raise myself. . . I mean, what more can I do? I have to care for everybody and everything! I feel sick, however, if I don't clean house it will never get done. Kenny was supposed to do the dishes last week but Mom did it and then he did a small load and left a crap load in the sink over the weekend when he went out. So, today, I expected him to do those that he left and the few I threw in from cleaning out the frig. I did everything else! All he had to do was the dishes! But he complained and refused to do them. He said it was my week and that he didn't care if he left some. He said it was his week to take out the garbage and that that was all he was going to do. But I took the garbage out with Stephen before Kenny came home! Also, when Chaos (Dave's dog) is here, we have to put the cans on the other side of the garage. Kenny knows that and instead of taking the garbage around, he hid it in the garage! I have nobody around to discipline him! Mom's on a well-deserved vacation and my dad is who knows where! I can't tell Kenny what to do because he'll see it as me being a bossy big sister and not his care-taker. I don't want to bother Mom and to think that this is only Tuesday and Mom doesn't come home until Friday or Saturday! And last night, out of nowhere I started crying and couldn't stop for 45 minutes! I don't know why it happened but it was terrible. I just wanted to stop and it was really hard to keep quiet because Kenny was in the other room and I don't want him to think that I wasn't ok. I always feel like I have to be the Ice Queen with everybody but Stephen. I miss being human. It's been about . . . well, since second grade that I've been human with everybody! That's a freakin' long time! Today, in English, I couldn't understand the question in our packet and I asked Ms. Beverly to explain it but her answer just confused me even more and then Stephen tried to explain it and every time I told him that I still didn't understand, he'd raise his voice. I'm not deaf! I just don't understand! I'm not mad at him or The Bev, I'm just on edge today and their explanations were not helping! I was so frustrated that I was close to tears and it took everything I had to not crawl into the corner of the room and ball my eyes out. I wish I could understand what's wrong with me. I've been crying a lot and I get frustrated easily, and I've been super sensitive to words, I've been loose with my tongue . . . my world is slowly crashing! I think this is a mental breakdown (or emotional) I'm not sure exactly. All I know is that I need a break from life. I need a door to another world where I get taken care of. Where I don't have to get ulcers from worry. Where is my rock to lean on? Where is my guiding light? I know that this has been depressing and very much unlike the Megan most of you "know" but I am a real person. I'm not normally happy, although I can fake it very well, I don't smile very often (not real ones), I cry in my closet with a towel in my mouth so no one knows, I don't get recognized for the good I do, I don't have a perfect life. I'm mending a broken heart and trying to pull the same feats as Atlas and Hercules all at once. There is a limit to human strength and I think that I have reached it. Sorry if I upset you with all of my crap but I needed to vent and I can't vent to anyone else but Stephen and my LJ.

Current Mood: stressed

07:14 pm - Just in Case I Forget . . .

OMG!!! I love this guy! Stephen is the greatest guy! I know I probably forget to say it enough and I may not always show it well, but I love him to death! He's so sweet and he tries so hard to meet all of my expectations. (And trust me, that's a tall order!) This is all mushy nad gross so I'll stop but I just had to share with everybody that I AM HAPPY! That is something that I haven't been able to exclaim for YEARS! I AM TRULY HAPPY!!! WOW! OK, now back to your regular programming . . .

This has been a pretty interesting weekend. Friday, Stephen went to the races with Denise and Ralph and guess who was there? DANIELLE! I HATE THAT VINDICTIVE CHICK! She gives me dirty looks and Stephen says nothing! It hurts, but I just keep reminding myself that I just have to be nice long enough to get to know her and then pull her aside and give her a piece of my mind! A piece? Hell, that's a lie! I'm gonna kill her with words! If that dyke wants him so badly she can have him, let him choose. I know it's not thunder thighs over there! She had her chance! It's over!

That's another thing . . . don't you just hate it when chicks get all jealous and they take it out on you? He's the one choosing! Attack him! Hello? Does anybody have common-sense anymore? Stephen has a freaking vindictive bitch posse (excuse my language)! What the HELL? They had their chances. They need to realize that what ever they had or what they thought they had was nothing and now it's over! GOT IT? IT'S OVER!

I'm glad I could get that off of my chest. I love this weather! It's rainy! YAY! I wish it would storm again. Last night, I stayed at Denise's (Stephen's aunt), and she made me sleep in Ashley's room. My "bedtime" was 11:00-ish. I wasn't tired yet but I had to go into the room. I just layed there for an hour and tossed and turned all night. Ashley has a scary ALF doll in her closet and it started at me all night. Talk about creepy! And the futon I slept on was hard as a rock! It was terrible. I just wanted to go home and raid my refrigerator. But I got to see Stephen at 5:20 AM and he was so cute on the couch under the Scooby Doo blanket. AWW! I'm still tired-ish.

When we got here, I made waffles. (Eggos are my speciality!) Then I took a long, relaxing bath and Stephen took a nap. When he got up we watched a few music videos on the computer and then we got hungry. Stephen started moaning about wanting Chinese food and he found a place that delivered to my house. He ordered and paid for everything. It was so sweet. We sat on little pillows in my living room and listened to a playlist we made when we were "just friends" and few months ago. I was really tired and Stephen wanted to lay down. So, I convinced him to help me move my huge mattress into the living room and we turned on the air. It was freezing in my living room! I took a nap and when I woke up Stephen had this smile on his face that made me laugh. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

He just went home and I tried to do my physics homework but it's confusing! Have you ever seen Van Wilder? I love when Mr. Doogle says, "Nice pad Wilder . . . Decorated in early FUCK!" OMG! ROTFL! That's the best. Stephen got it once I explained it and all was well. I had something else to say but I can't think of what it was. Well, I'll write later. Bye!

Current Mood: drained

06:28 pm - I Took Another Quiz!

Shadow. You are an angels made from shadows. Your
wings are powerful beyond mortal understanding.
You love to hide in shadows, and are a natural
at night. You enjoy showing mortals whose in
control, and won't hesitate to hurt someone if
they really start to bug you. You are old, and
will continue to live for many years more.
Longer than any given person. You are agile,
quick witted and sharp. You enjoy putting
people down, and can communicate with the
nights soul, as you do the shadows.

You are an angel that has been cast out of heaven,
and thrown to the earth. Almost being killed in
the process. But what doesn't kill you makes
you stronger, right? And the same rule applies
to you. When you suffer, it only makes you more
vicious, and powerful. You are an impressive
being. One never to be trifled with. You hate
all normal angels for this. You drink their
blood, to get back at the heavens that rejected
you.

Congrats, you are very smooth.


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
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Everything's ready for Nikita's "abduction." All the plans are set. AJ, Zakaroff, and Stephen will be here a little later. YAY! This is going to be so much fun.

Happy seventeenth Nikita! Hope it's one you never forget! And welcome back to the world of CARNIVORES!

Current Mood: excited

09:39 am - What Have I Done?

AJ, I'm so sorry. I did everything to you that I promised myself I wouldn't. I know what you're going through . . . trust me. I know better than most people. When I was with Andrew, everybody told me the same things. I got the same "You can do better" crap from everybody. I would nod my head, giggle, and walk away. But it really bothered me. At the time, I didn't want better. I didn't need better. I wanted him. I loved him. I think, near the end, I only stayed with him because (A) I truly THOUGHT I loved him (B) I thought he loved me and desired that more than anything in the world and (C) I wanted to prove everybody wrong. I see now that I have been pushing you the same way I was pushed but I honestly meant everything I said. I didn't mean to push, what was meant to be advise turned into pushy orders. You know that I'm an aggressive bossy over demanding person. I'm working on that but it's really hard. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was just so torn watching you hurt the way I did. I was sick of crying into the night. I just wanted the pain to go away. So, I thought that if I got you out of there that you could be free and I could stop worrying about your heart breaking. I know it sounds all sappy and motherly but I'm a protector. Although it seems as though I try to hurt everybody, I'm a soldier in disguise. I was just trying to save you but obviously I did more damage than help. BUT, J, JUST REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT I SAID TO YOU ABOUT HIM! I MEANT EVERY WORD, I JUST DIDN'T MEAN FOR THEM TO GET TO YOU IN THAT MANNER. PLEASE BE CAREFUL, HEARTS MEND BUT IT'S ALMOST BETTER IF THEY NEVER HAVE TO BREAK AT ALL.

Current Mood: frustrated

10:49 am - Hey!

Well, spring break's here. So far, I've spent it cleaning! Big fun, huh? I cleaned the house and then messed around with my computer. I uninstalled Kenny's old programs, and figured out all those myterious buttons. Lots of discovery! I was looking through some journal and came across this quiz and took it . . .


You are a black dragon! Master of the shadows and
nightmares. People claim you to be evil but
you're just misunderstood. You just want to be
alone.


Which Dragon resides in your soul? (cool pictures!)
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Current Mood: nerdy

07:09 pm - This is the Real World . . .

OK people! This is the real world! I don't know what you expect! Do you think everybody will like you? Do you think that you are perfect and don't judge others? Are you so great that you are equally accepting of others? Just because you keep your thoughts to yourself doesn't make you a better person! I'm not going to change my behavior just because some emotional chicks have got their feelings hurt by some meaningless words! I only say what everyone else is thinking but is too afraid to say out loud! Grow-up! People are going to do this to you for the rest of your human life! Suck it up and live. Ignore people like me and be true to your friends. They are the only people that matter in this world. Don't you understand? Letting people like me get to you is pathetic! It doesn't matter what others think of you! What your friends think of you is what counts! You shouldn't be wasting your time telling me that I'm hurting your feelings! You should be hanging out with your friends and just being appreciative that you have them to be with. It's sad that I, the one trying to make this clear to others, has to come out and actually state my purposes. What's wrong with you guys? Why can't you just think for yourselves? Why must you force people to point out the obvious? This is pathetic!

Also, I am NOT Stephen's mother! I don't care what he says about you! That's his business! If you have a problem with him, comment on his journal or talk to him. I'm not going to punish him! I don't know what you expect of me when you tell me that you don't like the fact that he talks about you!

Current Mood: aggravated

11:48 am - I Know . . .

Wow, this color scheme looks terrible. I tried working on it last night a little bit but my computer was being slow and I was super tired. I stayed up unitl Denise came to pick-up Stephen. It was late. Now, I have about a million things to do for school! OMG! I'll finish by 8:00 PM if I start right now and don't stop until then. I'll update later. BYE!

Current Mood: working

04:23 pm - Let's Get Some Things Straight . . .

First of all, this is America. I have every right to say whatever I wish about who ever I choose. They own the same right. How they choose to use it is their personal choice. Jill, Jessica, Nessa, MJ, and the "rest of HHS" that dislikes me may say whatever they wish to say about me. I have never threatened anybody. Taking that step is low. I know that you talk about me also. I have heard that I supposedly was yelled at by Jill and proceeded to curl up in a corner and cry. I have never cried because some chick said/yelled anything at me. Nor have I ever cried at school. The fact that Jill has fabricated this story is pathetic. I know that all of you that criticize me for my opinions, of which I am very open about, are all guilty of judging and rude comments about others. I have my reasons for my behavior.

Secondly, You have every right to hate me. I do not care. I do not lose sleep at night because a few people dislike me. It doesn't matter. I have a few friends and that's all I want. Say what you will and believe what you want. I have an entire family against me, more than one actually. I can handle the words. I have been called names, had rumors spread about me, and have been hurt to many times to care anymore.

SO, if you have anymore to say, you know how to post your comments. You know where I am and can write me if you wish. However, cussing through my live journal is totally inappropriate. (I am aware that this will probably urge you to write even more with even worse language. Just be assured that it only makes you look ignorant.)

Also, to you that replied anonymously, thank you for your support.

Current Mood: satisfied

04:28 pm - I Got Bored Again . . .

You belong in the land of darkness, otherwise known
as one of the worlds in which I dwell. All here
is beauty inspired by tragedy and great sorrow.
Write or go through other creative outlets to
express the anguish you may be feeling, and
never let anyone tell you that you are just
being 'weepy' or full of 'teenage angst'(if
you're a teenager.If not, then they really
should be punished for calling you one. They
probably are trying to insult your
maturity...fools.)and always remain yourself,
dark and amazing. Never change.


Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Today, Stephen was kind of short with me. It was sad. However, we all have our days and so it will pass. I just hope he's back to his self tomorrow.

Ms. Beverly said that my essay was really good. She told me that I had improved 100%! She told the class that my introduction was incredible and my conclusion was very effective! WHOO HOOO MEGAN! Stephen did all his homework! He's really trying in school. I'm so proud.

This Saturday, AJ and Casey and Stephen and I might go to Mei-Wah's for lunch! Yay! I have to call them and see what time they serve lunch until and how much the plates cost. I hope it turns out well. I don't really trust Casey too much. I don't want my distrust to ruin the "relationship" I have with AJ. (sigh) So much to worry about.


Nikita has invited me to play Battle Royale and she predicts that I will win . . . I doubt it. But it sounds like a ton of fun. Well, I may write more later but this will do for now.

Current Mood: contemplative

07:12 pm - Quizilla Rocks!

This result made me smile . . .

You're Element is Flame. You have a strong,
independant, fiery personality and you
obviously don't ley other's puch you around.
You like being in charge and don't care what
other people think. In fact, you like to stand
out and be yourself. You're probably shy when
people first meet you but your a ball of energy
that could explode at any given moment. You
like to laugh and whether you admit it or not,
you like to fight. You're peronality that is
wild and untamable. You're beauty is physically
fit and a little sexy and you have a very
pretty face.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
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This quiz made me question these tests . . .
You are Air. You are the vampire that gives people
hope, you are a dreamer and love to be free.
You have no worries and live life as you
choose. You might want to come back down to
earth a bit, and focus more on what you could
do down here. You could also be the shy type,
with problems but not showing them, try to let
other people help you instead or carring the
burden all alone. Please rate this quiz!!!


What Element Would You Rule Over If You Were A Vampire?
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This is so me!

Nerdslut


What's your sexual appeal?
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Current Mood: hungry

06:27 pm - Wow! Almost A Whole Month!

Current Mood: okay

03:55 pm - Whoops!

I guess it's been a long time since I've updated. Sorry about that. Well, Stephen and I are now dating (<3) and we are both happy! (Pathetic diction huh?) We call ourselves "S&M" (and have totally redefined Alice in Wonderland). HA HA HA! School has been busy and HELM has been CRAP! I now have a ninth period with Stephen and Stoelting (my boys). It's Florida History! WHOO HOO! Mom is again dating Dave! PISS PISS PISS!!!!! Kenny is still alive and well and Dad is not speaking to me much. Nothing new . . . he hasn't been talking to me since I was about 5! Love ya too Dad! Whatever! My family's piss and I was recently asked out by a guy that I had to turn down. It was sad. I felt bad for him. Now he walks me home everyday! Very uncomfortable! Well, I'm gonna go now. I'll try to update later. BYE!

Current Mood: okay

04:26 pm - Oh My Darlings, Your Queen has Returned From La La Land!

OMG! Ya'll have no idea what kind of craziness has been going on! Let me start from the beginning . . .

The last time I updated, I was pissing and moaning about life being piss and such. Later that night, my mom convinced me to go and things were really hectic with my having to watch Carlye and trying to leave for the beach at the same time. So, Stephen and my mom practically forced me to go . . . and I thank them for that. I was so hyper that night . . . well, at first. I spoke to Stephen until he had to go and eat pizza. Then I started packing and listening to Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive!" Whoo hoo! Later that night, Stephen called me back and we talked until about 2:30 AM. I was trying to write Mooncalf and My Sweet Sweet New York Burrito good-bye letters, explaining where I was going and when I was to return. But I got really drowsy and was writing really stupid, goofy e-mails. I also told Ed that my new name was BeBe! It was crazy . . . that's all I remember of that night.

The next morning I woke up at 7 AM and went back to sleep. Then I woke up again at 8 AM and was informed that Loralie was bringing Carlye over. So I got up and tried to prepare myself for the task at hand. Carlye arrived with a bag of diapers, wipes, three movies, and a bag of McDonald's (Macca's). She was fine saying good-bye to her mom and even sat still while eating. I was so happy! We watched Lilo and Stitch together (which is the saddest Disney movie of all time). Then we watched Mary Poppins and parts of Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. She soon got antsy and wandered around the house. She was fascinated by the sounds the microwave made when she pushed the buttons and that kept her busy for a little while. As time went by, I realized that it was about 11 AM and that I needed to get ready. I woke Mom up and she kept an eye on Carlye while I showered and tried to do my last minute packing. Then I called Stephen to check up on the progress of his family because they were going to pick me up, sometime around 12 - 2 PM they had told me. However, Loralie came by, left me $50, and took Carlye before Stephen's family was even thinking about leaving the house. Finally they called and were on their way. I grabbed my bags, kissed Mom good-bye and waited for them on the porch swing.

The ride to West Palm Beach was long. Stephen and I sat in the middle and his brothers, Devon and Brandon, sat in the very back, playing X-Box. Tosha, their dog, was up front with Gary and DeAnn (his dad and step-mom). We hit The McDonald's in Brandon and didn't stop until we came to Yeehaw Junction. Then we finally got back on the road and made it safely all the way to Darlene's house (Stephen's cousin). When we first got there, introductions were preformed and Darlene immediatly hugged me. Stephen said that the look on my face was priceless . . .I was sooo not ready for a hug! Anyway, I met Kim and Granny and we all had dinner (hotdogs) on their pool deck. It was nice. Then Stephen and I left the house to walk the beach. It was quite a journey trying to find beach access . . . but we did finally find it and we walked for a few hours. We had gotten the bottom of our pants wet and so it was freezing! We got home and Stephen showered while I sat in the living room talking to his brothers. (Brandon is adorable and Devon kind of gets on my nerves sometimes, but they are both hilarious!) They were playing some football game on Brandon's Game Cube. Slowly, everybody went to bed and so I snuck outside so that I could talk to "Lock-Box." We talked for a long time (thank goodness it wasn't counted as long-distance for me). It was a good conversation but too private to announce to the world. I stayed up until about 5 AM and finally went to sleep and woke up at about 7 AM to eat breakfast (pancakes and bacon). Super Yummy! That day (Friday) the family went out on their boat and Stephen and I stayed at the house, just relaxing. {FK}

We got bored just sitting there and watched some TV. (How ironic . . . we go on vacation to do the exact same thing we'd be doing at home!) I finally convinced Stephen to walk the beach with me and when we got home we were starving! They homemade pizza. The thought was very nice, but the pizza was not. After dinner, Stephen and I went to walk the beach again. I love walking the beach! There, we had many people pass us as we sat and talked. We got home and stayed up for awhile.

The next morning, we had McDonald's for breakfast and we decided that that night we were going to go downtown for dinner and shopping. (Not to be taken sexually!) So, that day, the family again went out on the boat and Stephen and I took a nap that lasted about 3 hours off and on. We finally woke up and took showers, separately, and then went out to walk the beach again. That time I took my camera with me. I took quite a few pictures! When we got home, we took another shower and got ready to go out. It was about 2:00 PM by then and the family was still out on the open waters. Granny, Stephen's great grandma, talked to me for a few hours and kept telling me the same stories over and over. However, she seemed to like the new company and so I was glad to make her smile. They finally showed up at about 4:00 PM and we finally left the house at about 6:00. Poor Stephen hated the water taxi! It was really breezy on the boat and I was super cold! Thankfully Stephen kept me warm. We started walking around downtown and jumped on a trolley thing. It took forever! We finally got to the square where most of the nice restaurants were located. We ended up in a place called Mark's. I almost died when I looked at the menu! A pizza cost about $25! That was an individual pizza too! I was going to just get fries and a soda but they didn't have fries! Darlene suggested sending us (Stephen, Devon, Brandon, and me) out to the main square to find our own place to eat. Deann was totally against the idea, but they finally gave in and we ran out of that place! (I grew up poor and have always been poor! I feel special going out to Channelside!) Anyway, we approached a cop and asked him to suggest a place where normal kids would eat. He suggested Cheeburger Cheeburger. If you ever have a chance to eat there . . . GO! That place was awesome and the waiter was super great! Afterwards, we went back to the restaurant and we all left Mark's. We were going to try to get back on the trolley thing to get back to the dock but it was so full. So Gary flagged down a bike guy and he called reinforcments! We had three people on bikes with their carts attached, driving us around. It was a neat experience! Stephen and I had the greatest driver. He was hilarious. We played chicken with oncoming traffic and a tree. Then we went to Sloan's (this incredible dessert parlor). I shared a hot chocolate with Stephen and then got some Lordy Forty lemonheads. The boat ride back to our car was colder than the ride downtown! I was all curled up next to Stephen. (Thanks Stephen!) It was late when we got home and Deann refused to let us walk the beach that night. So we stayed up and talked all night. {FF}

The next morning, we had a light breakfast and then, they again, went out on the boat. Stephen and I decided to walk the beach one last time. I took more pictures. Stephen helped me build the Condo of Usher (Edgar Allen Poe). It was a joke! It looks like a sandpile shaped like Darth Vader's head! We took pictures of that too, for Ms. Beverly. We got back to the house and sat around and then ate lunch. Granny's nurse made spaghetti (I loved it). Stephen and I ended up out on the dock talking, yet again. (I love talking to him!) He's such a unique character! Then we loaded up the car and bid farewell to the family. I didn't want to go back home. Stephen sat in the back with me and I remained curled up in his lap the whole way home. I was so comfortable and warm (physically and emotionally). He just makes me feel safe! (Not that ya'll care.)

We went back to his house and I cleaned his room. I love cleaning other people's rooms! (I'm just crazy I suppose!) We called my mom to see if she was home but she didn't answer. I thought that I was going to have to break into the house because Deann wanted me to go home. But when we got there, my mom was in her room. She had missed the call somehow. So we said goodnight to Stephen and he planned on coming over the next morning.

I found out that the next morning (Monday, January 5) we were going to Nanna's house (my great grandmother). Nanna is awesome. She has a golf cart and road rage! GO NANNA! However, when I called Stephen, he informed me that he was not allowed to hang out with me that day. So I stopped by his house and let him borrow some movies and got my film developed. The pictures turned out nicely! But my poor Stephen. I called him when I got home and we talked for awhile but then he had to get off and told me that he was going to call back. He never called back and Mom and Kenny wanted to go shopping. So reluctantly, I called Stephen and had to leave a message because he wasn't allowed on the phone and told him that I was going to be out. I hated leaving.

The next day, Stephen explained that he was sorry about the phone issue but I understood. School was school and that was that!

Wednesday, was another day . . . . to be continued . . .

Current Mood: loved

05:09 pm - LIFE IS PISS!

Well, Stephen came home on Monday. He brought me a figurine of an earth fairy (earth being my element) that I now have hanging by my computer. Mom, Dave, Kenny, "Lock-Box" and I went shopping. It was lots of fun. I gave "Lock-Box" a picture of a beaver that I had colored and him and Kenny went through the mall screaming, "Who wants my hot pink beaver?" "My beaver's free and so is Megan's!" and so forth. I was slapping them and trying to walk a few feet away. But they kept grabbing my arm and dragging me along. Kenny got a few games and I finally got my camera and microphone! I installed them immediately and contacted my guys. I had a good time actually talking to them and getting to show them what I truly look like.

The next day (December 30), I stayed on the computer most of the morning. I talked to Tommy and when he left I got off the computer. "Lock-Box" came over and we watched American Pie 2 and ate Checker's. (I had a hamburger, fries, diet coke and a small chocolate shake! YUMMY!) {The second American Pie was just as terrible and plotless as the first. The few humorous scenes are barely worth watching the whole movie for.} Afterward, we told each other of our pasts and presents. It was quite an emotional road trip for me. I survived, though, and as the night went on I started transforming into my true form (the scariest Megan). "Lock-Box" left and we stayed on the phone until about 4:00 or 4:30 AM. I watched a few scenes of an Elizabeth Taylor film and parts of the Yearling. It was different (that's all I can say).

I awoke to Mom slamming the front door numerous times. I rolled off the couch at about 11:00 AM and started folding the laundry that mom had haphazardly strewn on the love-seat. Walter's "mom" came by and picked him up and after she left I took a shower. It was about 12:30 PM when I realized that Stephen had told me that he was going to come by today and it would probably be around noon. So I called and he told me that his dad had changed his mind and he didn't have a ride over, so we just talked on the phone. (I would call Stoelting but the other day when we spoke to each other he was really harsh and it kind of bothered me.)

Stephen's family invited me to go with them to West Palm Beach this weekend and I really want to go but NOOOOOO. Aunt Loralie wants me to baby-sit and when I asked mom, she said ok but I overheard her talking to Dave and he was saying, "Your kids are always taking advantage of you. You do everything for them. You need to think about yourself. Just tell them NO!" Who's he to tell her what isn't true? We don't walk all over her. We do everything for her! Who has to tell every guy that calls that she's "out" or "sleeping?" Once I had to tell this really sweet guy that he had the wrong number! That was so hard. You could hear the lump swelling up in his throat. And who makes sure that Kenny's homework is done or that he gets dinner? HUH? That would be me! All I want is a little vacation. A chance to get away from this house. To forget all my responsibilities for a few days. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She told me that I could go but right now I'm so furious that she listens to the turd-with-fluff that I'm just gonna stay home . . . just to make her happy. This sucks! TALK ABOUT A PISSY DAY!

Current Mood: angry